blackhippychick

Posts Tagged ‘love and relationships’

Rihanna’s Assault Sheds Light on Hip Hops Illusatory Power

In Afrian American Twitters, African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, african american twitters, black blogger, black bloggers, black twitters, Black Women Bloggers, celebrities, entertainment, ethnic twitters, female blogger, female bloggers on March 14, 2009 at 8:48 am

Hip Hoppers are fond of imitating Gangsters in their videos.  Some even imitate the Italian Mafia.  However with the recent beating of Rihanna by Chris Brown.  Many are questioning the depth and the breadth of Hip Hops ability to be self policing and in the least have the ruthlessness to control star talents such as Chris Brown who not only harm  his bottom line when he beats up women but harm the whole industry.  Actions such as P Diddy in inviting Chris Brown to his home after Rihannas beating further shed light on the falseness of the ruthlessness facade of toughness and Gangsterism.

If the Black Hip Hop world were truly like the mafia the consequences of beating such a big star and money maker as Rihanna would have resulted in swift justice for Chris Brown such as a broken leg or in the least a black eye.  Instead the woman ended up with the black eye almost fueling fire to the homoeroticism rumours swirling around hip hop artists.  Furthermore Rihannas mentor though issuing lip service to his disgust concerning the incident  seemed to be powerless to do anything substantial before the publicly aired beating or after.  The manner in which Rihanna quickly returned to Chris Brown leads me to believe that this was not Rihanna’s first time being beat at the hands of  Chris Brown.  If this is true this further sheds light on the weak individuals that are in the hip hop industry and are Rihanna’s friends and lovers.   Even if Rihanna  chooses to go back to Chris Brown it seems like someone in the tough guy hip hop industry does not have the balls to tell Chris Brown if you hit her one more time you’re going to be gone from this earth.  It just goes to show cash does not always translate into power.

A southern father in a small town has more power than these wealthy hip hoppers.  In my early twenties I took a cross country trip on the greyhound bus and sat next to a man who had just gotten out of jail.  He wanted to talk and seemed to think that he had been framed by a southern gentlemen because he cheated on his daughter.  He seemed to think someone had planted drugs in his car and sent him off to jail for three years making Bob Barker shoes.  Whether this story was true or not this Southern Father did what it took to defend his daughters honor.  In the meanwhile hip hoppers are getting Prissy on the runway and kissing each other in the mouth.  You know who you are.  They seem to have forgotten who the girl is.  Are they beating on women to indicate to their secret lovers that the straight life is just a facade.

**** APT requested that I post the following  tube video to this post:

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Dr. Alex Benzer: Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating

In black blogger, black bloggers, Black Women Bloggers, Education, relationships on March 4, 2009 at 9:15 am

Dr. Alex Benzer: Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating.

It’s International Sex Workers Day (Better Paid than Not)

In African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, female bloggers, human rights, politics, relationships, Sex on March 3, 2009 at 8:13 pm

I just found out on twitter that today is International Sex Workers Day.     This is a day where sex workers protest for acceptance and the right to make a living without harassment as a sex worker.    I was going to write something long and detailed on this issue basically saying what’s the difference between someone who goes and gives it to a different man every week  and someone who gets paid for it.       In the absence of true love and affection between two people does it really matter whether its a free one night stand or a paid business arrangement.

During the Elliot Spitzer incident last year I blogged and linked to articles related to this issue.    You know I blogged last year that there is a lot of hypocrisy going around.  The Republicans are hollering about babies born outside of marriage yet the daughter of their VP candidate had a baby outside of marriage, yet one of their speakers of the house Newt or whatever his title was has been married to three to four different women that in the case of the last three he got them pregnant before he even married them. He had three shot gun weddings and his shotgun weddings were divorcing one wife and marrying another, in the case of Rudolph Gulliani he married his cousin, his cousin and stayed married to her for sixteen years and had an annulment an annulment and immediately married another woman who he had children by and then while married to her proceeded to move his mistress ,now wife into the government mansion he was living in; and finally Rush Limbaugh, a reformed drug addict of two years is trying to make the claim that he’s the head of the Republican party.  And all these people have to do is hate on innocent women and children.  This is so sad.  Legalize Prostitution, these women are claiming that they can reduce the risk of AIDS.  🙂

Here are the Spitzer posts that I wrote last year on prostitution:

The professional way to protect a marriage | Minette Marrin – Times Online

Better a prostitute than a Mistress! Elliott is a Sex Addict!

Elliot Spitzer You Big Dummy

A Funny Little Photo

Congratulations Ladies I hope you can succeed in stopping the spread of AIDS.

USA/SEXWORKERS

Atlanta Ladies Do Not Take A Date Here

In African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, Atlanta, black blogger, black bloggers, Black Women Bloggers, borowing, borrowing, celebrities, College Educated, entertainment, family, fashion, female blogger, female bloggers, Georgia, Neighborhoods, relationships on February 26, 2009 at 9:40 am

You know I had a favorite spot that I liked to go.  I liked to go there so much that when my black professional  group decided to change venues to a predominately white meeting place instead of going next door I canceled my membership.  The thing that I liked so much about this place was that it seemed to be like a movie set.

However, after taking a date to Club Circa I decided that the whole I-20 corridor is not date friendly.  I have written previously about taking a friend, a strong friend  to a restaurant in Conyers and having the waitress ask him, my close to four hundred pound friend lick the hot sauce off her arm.  Ladies, just because he’s with me this does not mean he is rich or has a big penis.  He may just be my friend.  I was slightly amused by the incident because he was not my boyfriend and not my love interest but it made me strongly concerned about the families in the Conyers area that were exchanging black wives for white wives considering this woman was white.   In any event I don’t know what happened between them, I encouraged him to go back  another time because he wanted  me to help him shop for presents for his toddler son in North Dakota.  It should be noted however that he had already asked me to marry him, move in with him, do whatever it took just to be special to me.  This would have never happened considering I had a friend years ago who dated him and loved him.  He’s extremely charismatic and a phenomenal friend.   If I need something even though I have not spoken to him in a year he’ll come through.

In any event I have never had much of a problem meeting men when I just walk out of the door , single eligible men.  To just give you an example of my past  I have met one Grammy award nominee in the grocery store.  I met a physical therapist in the grocery store.  I met someone who opened for an act that has won five grammys at Georgia State University, and I know one man who writes and performs for grammy and award winning acts all around the world who I met at Barnes and Noble in Buckhead who used to call me from London and Paris and other places every night.  The truth is I was not interested in any of the people I have mentioned except maybe the guy who called from London and Paris and he was too impatient meaning when he was in town I had to be ready to make a move immediately, as well as some other reasons that made him turn into just a plain rat.  In any event I have never looked for just a man, but a man that I liked and was compatible with.

The men I usually ended up dating in the past and liked very much were usually visual artists, or writers, or maybe a persistent engineer.  I just want to say that the particular engineer that built bridges that I met was the best.  I could say I want and he would not just bring me one he’d bring me thirty- phenomenal.  The one incident that I think defined me and let me know that I had it was when my friends in college dragged me to a fraternity party because the man I liked/loved who was supposed to be coming from D.C. did not show up and I was dragged to this Frat party.  I am not a dancer, except in the dark because I am extremely shy.  So when one of the frat guys jumped into my lap and said either you came here to dance or to fuck , if not get out. I left and so did every other woman in the place.  I always chuckle when I think about this incident.

In regards to men I would also like to add that the majority of men that have come up to me and I have dated extensively have been well endowed.  It was not until the end of my marriage while in my thirties  and I got back into the dating scene that I actually knew that the statement  all black men are well endowed was just a plain out myth and a lie.     I have never had much of a problem attracting a man, if any man would do I suppose I would have one.

In order to find the right man, I turned to the personal ads of craigslist.  I was looking for an intelligent man in the least, a person that I could hold a conversation with.  I was not looking for someone with the characteristics of my former husband a 6’2 dead ringer for Rick Fox who was extremely intelligent and profoundly gifted who produced our daughter who is a dead ringer for an Asian looking Hallie Berry.  And where do I fit into this star studded continuum, one night as I was leaving a political meeting at Manuel’s Tavern a man screamed out of the car Chaka as in Chaka Khan.  My mother told me that I should not be flattered because this meant he was calling me fat.  Oh Well!  In any event I turned to craigslist to find someone to talk to and possibly probably have a long term relationship with.

I went out on the first date with a man I knew I was just not interested in nor even for a friend, we went to Chilis in Lithonia and the waitress went into a long story about only getting paid a certain amount  an hour and how she had no one to take her out.  I watched as she flirted with my date the whole night and  I thought just in character, I think on my next date I’ll go to Atlanta and my date ended with him saying maybe we should have gone to Midtown.  I was not interested in this first date and it ended with her giving him a check that had come and see me again in quotations.  This basically characterizes the black Atlanta dating scene whether it’s date night for marrieds or date night for singles.  This is why I think Forbes rated Atlanta as one of the best places for singles because it’s so predatory and the advantage is for men.  The caveat is I have fielded stares and glances from men who were with other women, while taking my family out to a birthday celebration one man sat and stared at me until I left and his date probably wife was evidently oblivious to what was going on or did not care as long as she could keep purchasing her LV pocketbooks.  I suppose the women that I have had the misfortune to run into with a lot of exceptions may have winked and managed to get him his number, but that’s not me.   Since I have not begun to tell my Circa story I would like to add that I was sitting beside a man at Cafe Circa who was tall and good looking that I could have been extremely interested in but he had a date and I had a date so I tried not to look at him.  Maybe if I change my personality in my next life I’ll slip my phone number to him. As the date I was with is fond of explaining about parallel universes and the time continuum maybe this is what I did in a parallel universe slipped my phone number to him and experienced the pleasure of his extreme good looks and long body.

Anyway I’ve written so much backgrond to get into this story at Circa I’m sick of writing.  Circa is a place that I stumbled upon, for some reason the coffee shop that my professional group was meeting at was now consistently closed at the time we were supposed to meet there.  I think it was someone’s comment about her green or burgundy hair that shut us out of that venue, but she refused to open for us anymore.  I did manage to catch her open the first time I came to the meeting and in attendance was the African contingency of professionals who were lots of  fun to be around, the Ethiopians, Somalis and some others nice……… In any event at the next meeting the proprietor had shut the place down and we had to find another place to meet which ended up being next door but in the midst of Atlanta off of Auburn Avenue where the King home was located had the feeling of skinhead heaven.  We managed to meet at this locale despite the fact that the staff kept throwing us glances like they hated us and did not want our money because we were black.  Unfortunately at the next meeting the coffeehouse women did not show up  so we went to Cafe Circa two doors down and had a wonderful time.  I thought Circa was a great place.  I told my friends and family about it .

So I naturally assumed that Cafe Circa would be a great place to bring a date, a craigslist date that I liked that I talked to for ninety minutes at a time. I also assumed that it was safe because my dear single  friend who I think is one of the most honorable and greatest men I have ever met had recently given a private party there that I could not attend due to illness so I naturally assumed that this place would be a place where the wait staff knew how to act, some of the things that happened I am not going to get into because it seems so strange and surreal, like the singer singing Tyrone by Erykah Badu and when my date could not hear me he texted something on his phone and passed the phone to me and she started singing don’t even have no phone, have to use my phone to text.  At the time I thought the singer was irritated because we were not giving her all of our attention but when I got home and thought about it I was really offended.

In any event I have not gotten to the good part yet.  The waitress came and took our order.  My date orderedtwo drinks and water.  I ordered one Peach Martini.  The waitress came back and put each one of his three drinks on a coaster, meaning three drinks and three straws, for my one little drink I did not get a coaster or a straw.  The waitress then preceded to lay and rub on my date all night long and glare at me from the corner.  I noticed this because my date was asking me not to button up my sweater  so he could look down my cleavage and I jokingly said yeah I saw a psychologist on TV and she had a big necklace on in her cleavage which indicated to me that we were supposed to be looking at her cleavage and nothing else. I pointed to my cleavage and jokingly said you’re supposed to be looking at my cleavage and nothing else, as I looked up the waitress was staring straight down my throat.  It made me feel rather strange.  Suddenly she came up and jerked my plate off of the table and I was quite shocked.

I honestly did not think anything of it, until I went out with my date that I like very much the next night to the Real Chow Baby at the Galleria – excellent staff , my craigslist date commented on the trendiness of the staff and their attire.  He thought one waitress had a mohawk but I explained to him she had a really great perm.  She was cute, young, and free and that’s just how you should be at twenty- something not trying to glare someone down for being on a date.  The Real Chow baby was a totally different atmosphere, I know it’s more general audience oriented  but Christ even at a lounge the waitress should not be feeling and rubbing your date up unless they are looking for johns.  In any event we went to cafe Intermezzo in Dunwoody after the Real Chow Baby where I found out the date had given the waitress at Cafe Circa a 25% tip.  I think I could have swallowed twenty because I give twenty to most people even if the service is not great but twenty-five percent was a little hard to swallow, I’ve even been out with 50 and hundred dollar tippers but the waiter or waitress respected me and my date.  I was taken aback and offended that I could be treated so shabbily and my date preceded to give the woman a twenty-five percent tip. I was mad at him and this revelation made me really think that Cafe Circa does offer the services of women of questionable character, I know my date paid for a back rub and to get laid on.  Ladies if your married man tells you he’s going to Circa for business I would question if it’s monkey business compliments of the wait staff.

Finally I would like to say Cafe Intermezzo in Dunwoody was wonderful as usual.  It’s been a great date spot for years.  I have an affinity for Dunwoody, when I temped, the temp agencies in Dunwoody always made sure that I had a job and was working.  When I was in an executive training program and all of the participants had MBA’s Dunwoody still found a place for me in this program.  Dunwoody is a good place as well as my family has had other financial and banking needs that the 20 corrider could not take care of and the Galleria area  where The Real Chow Baby is located came through.  I suppose I say all of this to say that if I take the time to put an ad in craigslist.  I should take the time to suggest places to my date that exemplify the character and the values that I try to practice in real life.

The twenty corridor is not doing it for me and ladies Circa Cafe is an absolutely horrible place to take someone you like and cherish to.  I am trying to salvage even a friendship out of this craigslist person that I loved talking to but the shadow of a 25% tip when I could not get a coaster or a straw and had my plate jerked from under me is making me feel that my date just did not respect me as much as he should, he says he did not know.  We talk everyday for at least two hours but I’m still wondering about him. 🙂