blackhippychick

Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Atlanta Men Premature Babies and the Hip Hop Culture

In blacks, culture, ethnic culture, hip hop culture on November 10, 2015 at 5:34 am

Atlanta s the hip hop capital.  However, if you want to know what you are importing into your home when you listen.  Think about this among ethnic and the economically challenged the “ATL” receives a flat out F for prevention of premature births in the city, the state of Georgia received a D from the March of Dimes, but the “ATL” a flat out F.  What this implies is that there are plenty of boys willing to get a woman pregnant but there are no men willing to be fathers and care for the pregnant mothers.

Since the article came out days ago I have wanted to blog on the issue but I honestly can not find the words to articulate how I’m feeling.  What preempted me to write this was a series of nasty messages I received from a man I had said nothing wrong too.  I thought hey these messages to me embody the type of men who are in Atlanta mean flat out evil individuals who find women just like them to support their actions. The messages can be seen on my twitter account.

Why are these babies being born premature? The obvious answer is because of the stress that they are experiencing which in the case of Atlanta I put at the feet of black men who are impregnating these women.  Personally speaking I have had all sorts of negative things said to me by black men in Atlanta in a professional and personal since. In my professional life I have been told that I’m too dark to sit in a chair by a black man not white people,  I’ve volunteered for a political candidate and had all of my work stolen by a group and at the end of the day what I got was cursed out by a black man. While everyone knows I did the political work. I made the calls. I arranged the events. I made the forms for my activities.  This is a little group that invited me in, only to take my labor and to have a black man act wild eyed and nasty towards me,

As for my personal life I have been there a pregnant woman abandoned by her lover and husband.  Even when all love was lost I thought wow these men are not even there for their kids.  I have been a pregnant woman who habitually had flat tires changing a flat tire and obviously pregnant but not one black person would help me change my tire it was a black neighborhood.  My mom used to often lament that when she had car problems not one black person would help, that’s still true. But back to the grade of F for premature babies.

One reason Atlanta is mean to women is because it is basically a homoerotic city. I am not gay bashing. I am referring to mean who are married or play straight but are straight up in the closet homosexuals.  Think Eddie LongThink Buster Barnett. One can not live in an environment where a majority of men are pretending to be straight but are gay.  There in the closet homosexuality starts to manifest in other ways such as being exceedingly mean to women, saying nasty things, and even having a contest to see who can be the meanest to women and patting each other on the back for being so mean.  It also shows in other ways.  For Black music Atlanta is mired in hip hop,  I often think that closeted homosexuals are listening to the music daring a woman’s voice to come on especially when they are with their lovers because they don’t want their lovers to think about a woman to not even hear their voices because they are briefly out of the closet and when not with their lover they want to create an environment of an all man world.  I think of it as a Cultural Castro. Castro is a district in San Francisco where there are mainly just men there who love other men.  They are in restaurants eating together. They are walking down the street holding hands.  It’s a literal gay man planet.  While Atlanta does not have a gay man planet, the culture of hip hop is a virtual gay man planet whose lyrics and style are heard all around the world disrespecting women, playing up man culture, encouraging disrespect for women.

The F grade to Atlanta by the the March of Dimes is a validation of hip hops hate for women. Atlanta is the hip hop capital. If anyone ever thought that music was benign and just words and rhythm that crosses the brain, it’s not.  It’s a destructive mantra of hate towards women.

Tiger Woods Fool of the Decade

In Afrian American Twitters, African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, african american twitters, athletes, black blogger, black bloggers, black twitters, Black Women Bloggers, current events, elein woods, elin woods, entertainment, rachel uchitel, sports on December 29, 2009 at 10:31 am

As an African American Woman I have extremely conflicting emotions towards Tiger Woods.  There is my gut feeling that turns my stomach at the way that he’s treated his wife and his family, and there are the sane rational feelings that tell me no matter what Tiger Woods has done he’s the master of his craft and what I should be studying are his mental strengths and characteristics that allowed him to be the Master of the Masters, that allowed him to be the first nonwhite person to ever win the Masters.  These are qualities worth embracing and loving but lately the stomach turning has not stopped.

Daily there is a new story about Tiger Woods character that literally makes me dislike him and think that he’s a rotten egg.  The tales of mistresses are not enough to make me hate him, he’s married he’s a billionaire his wife can have literally anything in this world she wants except the fidelity of Tiger Woods, not bad for a woman that’s gone from working in a boutique and being a nanny to being the wife of a billionaire.  However the manner upon which he conducted his last affair with Rachel Uchitel,  Joy Behar had to apologize to for saying Uchitel she’s a Hooker, has been startling.  The careless text messages have been jaw dropping Tiger writes the following to Rachel Uchitel,

“I get it. It f—–g kills me, too. I finally found someone I connect with…..”someone I have never found like this. Not even at home.”

Rachel Uchitel

When reading the text messages that Tiger Woods wrote to Rachel Uchitel and connecting them with the persona of Rachel Uchitel  my heart takes over and I feel extreme disgust for Tiger Woods.  Infidelity is wrong but when it appears to be with a a woman who looks like she’s done the whole golf team or helped the whole golf course be unfaithful to their wives, my head cannot reconcile me to the genius athlete that Tiger Woods is.  While I don’t believe that hitting someone in the head with a golf club is the right thing to do, and I do think that Elin  should have seen the inside of a jail at least overnight, I do believe the circumstances that led Elin Woods to clunk her husband on the head could definitely be called a justifiably out of her mind moment. Tiger Woods is alleged to have spent Thanksgiving Day frantically texting Rachel  Uchitel the woman above with her mouth on another woman’s thigh, and with the five guys, he forgot to erase one picture and left his “smart” phone at home with a picture of a naked uchitel on it that she had sent to him that day with the full knowledge that it was the First Thanksgiving of Wood’s nine month old and two is such a precious age for  the other  child, Uchitel chose that day to spend it sending naked pictures to Woods while he was at least trying to be a family man, what a woman!  In any event the wife of Tiger Woods become so enraged by the way that Tiger Woods was treating her and over the picture,  she hit him in the head with a golf club and you know the rest of the saga.

The point to be made here is I am an avid twitterer and texting while with a date, loved ones, and people that you like and respect and have taken the time to be with you is so disrespectful.  I have even twittered that the world did not lose much of a man when AJ  or RJ of  The Real Housewives of Atlanta was killed because I saw one episode of Atlanta housewives and observed whatever his name texting the whole time he was at a party.  If I felt this way watching RJ/AJ I can only imagine my feelings towards watching Tiger woods texting the woman above with her mouth on another woman’s thigh and with the five guys, texting her the whole Thanksgiving Holiday.   I know I would want to clunk tiger on the head too because every time I think of the Atlanta housewives episode with RJ or AJ I get really angry that someone would treat someone like that.

While my head still admires Tiger Woods, my heart is just not with him.  While my head says Elin no longer has to hang clothes on a rack or wipe the nose of someone elses snotty nosed children my heart says nobody should text their mistress in front of their wife. Mistress time is mistress time and home time is home time the two should not mix.  Tiger Woods should have shown some  sort of decency in his dealings with his family and all for what the woman who made Joy Behar apologize to her for saying Uchitel its a Hooker.

The author of this post has nothing against divorce and does not believe marriage should be a life term in the penitentiary, but she does believe that when someone can no longer be the majority of the person the other one married they should be honest and call it quits.  I have no clue what Tiger Woods prenup says but if it says he has to give Elin Woods 300 million dollars if he leaves her then he should have swallowed it and left instead of being the FOOL of The Decade.  Elin Nordgram Woods deserved more so much more than what she got a heartless Prince that drove her insane.

Fuck Off

In Afrian American Twitters, African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, Atlanta, ethnic twitters, family, female blogger, female bloggers, relationships, Sex on November 29, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Afterword

You know I really love you and I’ve been extremely depressed because we have not been able to maintain and keep contact.  I know or I think you are only doing what I asked you to do but sometimes I have to honestly say I think the barely existent us is a joke, i’d like to know if it’s always been a joke or did it just happen to be one this time.  You are doing what I asked you to do and I am extremely proud of you but I can’t help but say I’ve been extremely depressed since we made that decision.  Anyway if we never never never meet again, firdt we met at the Atlanta Fulton Library, then met up again at the Jazz Festival this May I’d like to say whether it was a joke or not I love you, I love you, I love you I’ve never met a man like you,

BUT

But,  as I got to thinking about my past life it hit me that men and women sometimes don’t see things the same way I may be passionately in love with you when you touch me, when you hold me i feel things that I’ve never felt before but I cant make you love me and I suppose that’s the strange thing about passion and love sometimes one can feel it and the other can’t and sometimes I ask God Why and How can my body explode from the tips of my toenails to the top of my head and the other person feels nothing.

I mean nothing or they only feel it until their orgasm is over.  I don’t know my love but I love you and I have loved you passionately for years but I’m over it the passion has turned to blah and what made me change was the thought of the following experience:

The Story and I Mean the Story

I met Mr. Blank in November the thing that struck me about him was that he was really honest, sincere, tall, and decent looking.  I also did not have a car at the time and he seemed willing to let me use his car when I needed.  His laid back attitude towards life was just awesome and he happened to be well off he told me he used to be a millionaire and would be again and I’m sure he is back on his feet again by now.

While the sex with him was not great he was hung up on technique and I am incredibly turned on by intelligence and he was sort of dense in terms of politics world affairs, the economy etc.  and was extremely narcissistic.    His other qualities made me set the goal of doing one thing pleasing him, squeeze I would say to my self as we made love, move I would say to myself as we had sex at that time I felt my skill as a lover was directly related to keeping him and i was rewarded by lets have sex before our date, then after day after day for several months.  As the months progressed I began to notice everything that was in his life was a woman and done by a woman, a young women and it began to slightly irritate me to the point where I was sick of trying to work with sex to keep him.

Well one night or early morning he hears a knock on the door at about three am.  I hear loud noises a woman crying saying I love you I love you and all he’s saying is get out.  I’m like thinking I can’t believe this.  He comes back in the bedroom says something and its like nothing happened and I mean nothing happened.

We have sex wake up the next morning and its the same drill but slowly I start noticing things a brush, and the biggest thing was oil in  the bathroom like oils you might buy from a vendor in big bottles, I look up and notice burnt candles on the bureau and I know that’s not right.  It ends rather blandly he buys me some yogurt from the store its bad and all I say to him is this is awful he starts to quiver and shake and I’m like oh my God I feel like the ex-wife he told me about he’s literally groveling.   It ends with a rather fierce fight on the phone I have to tell a relative of his a secret  because he has to have someone to talk to and watch out for him.  He finds out and tells me you’ll never get any of this dick again and I’m like OK fine.

In any event I say this to say that earlier this week as I ruminated on how madly in love I was with another human being.  Oh how passionately so passionate that my stomach hurt, that I cried every moment that I could.  I thought about the relationship I had with the man above and how this woman was knocking on the door saying I love You I love and he was literally throwing her out and fucking me without giving her a second thought.  I thought Girl you have to stop this man is not calling you that much, only calling when you call back and never initiating a call after the CONVERSATION.  He cares nothing for you, for your stomach to continue to hurt like this and for you to continue to be passionately in love with someone who’s probably fucking six other women is ridiculous.  Needles to say after thinking about this the affair I was having with myself was  literally over.  I still think that he’s fabulously intelligent, fabulously endowed, fabulously mannerable and we have mad things in common but it does not seem to be happening.  I’ll hang around a little longer because something is telling me to but my stomachs not hurting anymore. Maybe it was just a moment a sweet moment:

It’s International Sex Workers Day (Better Paid than Not)

In African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, female bloggers, human rights, politics, relationships, Sex on March 3, 2009 at 8:13 pm

I just found out on twitter that today is International Sex Workers Day.     This is a day where sex workers protest for acceptance and the right to make a living without harassment as a sex worker.    I was going to write something long and detailed on this issue basically saying what’s the difference between someone who goes and gives it to a different man every week  and someone who gets paid for it.       In the absence of true love and affection between two people does it really matter whether its a free one night stand or a paid business arrangement.

During the Elliot Spitzer incident last year I blogged and linked to articles related to this issue.    You know I blogged last year that there is a lot of hypocrisy going around.  The Republicans are hollering about babies born outside of marriage yet the daughter of their VP candidate had a baby outside of marriage, yet one of their speakers of the house Newt or whatever his title was has been married to three to four different women that in the case of the last three he got them pregnant before he even married them. He had three shot gun weddings and his shotgun weddings were divorcing one wife and marrying another, in the case of Rudolph Gulliani he married his cousin, his cousin and stayed married to her for sixteen years and had an annulment an annulment and immediately married another woman who he had children by and then while married to her proceeded to move his mistress ,now wife into the government mansion he was living in; and finally Rush Limbaugh, a reformed drug addict of two years is trying to make the claim that he’s the head of the Republican party.  And all these people have to do is hate on innocent women and children.  This is so sad.  Legalize Prostitution, these women are claiming that they can reduce the risk of AIDS.  🙂

Here are the Spitzer posts that I wrote last year on prostitution:

The professional way to protect a marriage | Minette Marrin – Times Online

Better a prostitute than a Mistress! Elliott is a Sex Addict!

Elliot Spitzer You Big Dummy

A Funny Little Photo

Congratulations Ladies I hope you can succeed in stopping the spread of AIDS.

USA/SEXWORKERS

Atlanta Ladies Do Not Take A Date Here

In African American Bloggers, African American Blogs, Atlanta, black blogger, black bloggers, Black Women Bloggers, borowing, borrowing, celebrities, College Educated, entertainment, family, fashion, female blogger, female bloggers, Georgia, Neighborhoods, relationships on February 26, 2009 at 9:40 am

You know I had a favorite spot that I liked to go.  I liked to go there so much that when my black professional  group decided to change venues to a predominately white meeting place instead of going next door I canceled my membership.  The thing that I liked so much about this place was that it seemed to be like a movie set.

However, after taking a date to Club Circa I decided that the whole I-20 corridor is not date friendly.  I have written previously about taking a friend, a strong friend  to a restaurant in Conyers and having the waitress ask him, my close to four hundred pound friend lick the hot sauce off her arm.  Ladies, just because he’s with me this does not mean he is rich or has a big penis.  He may just be my friend.  I was slightly amused by the incident because he was not my boyfriend and not my love interest but it made me strongly concerned about the families in the Conyers area that were exchanging black wives for white wives considering this woman was white.   In any event I don’t know what happened between them, I encouraged him to go back  another time because he wanted  me to help him shop for presents for his toddler son in North Dakota.  It should be noted however that he had already asked me to marry him, move in with him, do whatever it took just to be special to me.  This would have never happened considering I had a friend years ago who dated him and loved him.  He’s extremely charismatic and a phenomenal friend.   If I need something even though I have not spoken to him in a year he’ll come through.

In any event I have never had much of a problem meeting men when I just walk out of the door , single eligible men.  To just give you an example of my past  I have met one Grammy award nominee in the grocery store.  I met a physical therapist in the grocery store.  I met someone who opened for an act that has won five grammys at Georgia State University, and I know one man who writes and performs for grammy and award winning acts all around the world who I met at Barnes and Noble in Buckhead who used to call me from London and Paris and other places every night.  The truth is I was not interested in any of the people I have mentioned except maybe the guy who called from London and Paris and he was too impatient meaning when he was in town I had to be ready to make a move immediately, as well as some other reasons that made him turn into just a plain rat.  In any event I have never looked for just a man, but a man that I liked and was compatible with.

The men I usually ended up dating in the past and liked very much were usually visual artists, or writers, or maybe a persistent engineer.  I just want to say that the particular engineer that built bridges that I met was the best.  I could say I want and he would not just bring me one he’d bring me thirty- phenomenal.  The one incident that I think defined me and let me know that I had it was when my friends in college dragged me to a fraternity party because the man I liked/loved who was supposed to be coming from D.C. did not show up and I was dragged to this Frat party.  I am not a dancer, except in the dark because I am extremely shy.  So when one of the frat guys jumped into my lap and said either you came here to dance or to fuck , if not get out. I left and so did every other woman in the place.  I always chuckle when I think about this incident.

In regards to men I would also like to add that the majority of men that have come up to me and I have dated extensively have been well endowed.  It was not until the end of my marriage while in my thirties  and I got back into the dating scene that I actually knew that the statement  all black men are well endowed was just a plain out myth and a lie.     I have never had much of a problem attracting a man, if any man would do I suppose I would have one.

In order to find the right man, I turned to the personal ads of craigslist.  I was looking for an intelligent man in the least, a person that I could hold a conversation with.  I was not looking for someone with the characteristics of my former husband a 6’2 dead ringer for Rick Fox who was extremely intelligent and profoundly gifted who produced our daughter who is a dead ringer for an Asian looking Hallie Berry.  And where do I fit into this star studded continuum, one night as I was leaving a political meeting at Manuel’s Tavern a man screamed out of the car Chaka as in Chaka Khan.  My mother told me that I should not be flattered because this meant he was calling me fat.  Oh Well!  In any event I turned to craigslist to find someone to talk to and possibly probably have a long term relationship with.

I went out on the first date with a man I knew I was just not interested in nor even for a friend, we went to Chilis in Lithonia and the waitress went into a long story about only getting paid a certain amount  an hour and how she had no one to take her out.  I watched as she flirted with my date the whole night and  I thought just in character, I think on my next date I’ll go to Atlanta and my date ended with him saying maybe we should have gone to Midtown.  I was not interested in this first date and it ended with her giving him a check that had come and see me again in quotations.  This basically characterizes the black Atlanta dating scene whether it’s date night for marrieds or date night for singles.  This is why I think Forbes rated Atlanta as one of the best places for singles because it’s so predatory and the advantage is for men.  The caveat is I have fielded stares and glances from men who were with other women, while taking my family out to a birthday celebration one man sat and stared at me until I left and his date probably wife was evidently oblivious to what was going on or did not care as long as she could keep purchasing her LV pocketbooks.  I suppose the women that I have had the misfortune to run into with a lot of exceptions may have winked and managed to get him his number, but that’s not me.   Since I have not begun to tell my Circa story I would like to add that I was sitting beside a man at Cafe Circa who was tall and good looking that I could have been extremely interested in but he had a date and I had a date so I tried not to look at him.  Maybe if I change my personality in my next life I’ll slip my phone number to him. As the date I was with is fond of explaining about parallel universes and the time continuum maybe this is what I did in a parallel universe slipped my phone number to him and experienced the pleasure of his extreme good looks and long body.

Anyway I’ve written so much backgrond to get into this story at Circa I’m sick of writing.  Circa is a place that I stumbled upon, for some reason the coffee shop that my professional group was meeting at was now consistently closed at the time we were supposed to meet there.  I think it was someone’s comment about her green or burgundy hair that shut us out of that venue, but she refused to open for us anymore.  I did manage to catch her open the first time I came to the meeting and in attendance was the African contingency of professionals who were lots of  fun to be around, the Ethiopians, Somalis and some others nice……… In any event at the next meeting the proprietor had shut the place down and we had to find another place to meet which ended up being next door but in the midst of Atlanta off of Auburn Avenue where the King home was located had the feeling of skinhead heaven.  We managed to meet at this locale despite the fact that the staff kept throwing us glances like they hated us and did not want our money because we were black.  Unfortunately at the next meeting the coffeehouse women did not show up  so we went to Cafe Circa two doors down and had a wonderful time.  I thought Circa was a great place.  I told my friends and family about it .

So I naturally assumed that Cafe Circa would be a great place to bring a date, a craigslist date that I liked that I talked to for ninety minutes at a time. I also assumed that it was safe because my dear single  friend who I think is one of the most honorable and greatest men I have ever met had recently given a private party there that I could not attend due to illness so I naturally assumed that this place would be a place where the wait staff knew how to act, some of the things that happened I am not going to get into because it seems so strange and surreal, like the singer singing Tyrone by Erykah Badu and when my date could not hear me he texted something on his phone and passed the phone to me and she started singing don’t even have no phone, have to use my phone to text.  At the time I thought the singer was irritated because we were not giving her all of our attention but when I got home and thought about it I was really offended.

In any event I have not gotten to the good part yet.  The waitress came and took our order.  My date orderedtwo drinks and water.  I ordered one Peach Martini.  The waitress came back and put each one of his three drinks on a coaster, meaning three drinks and three straws, for my one little drink I did not get a coaster or a straw.  The waitress then preceded to lay and rub on my date all night long and glare at me from the corner.  I noticed this because my date was asking me not to button up my sweater  so he could look down my cleavage and I jokingly said yeah I saw a psychologist on TV and she had a big necklace on in her cleavage which indicated to me that we were supposed to be looking at her cleavage and nothing else. I pointed to my cleavage and jokingly said you’re supposed to be looking at my cleavage and nothing else, as I looked up the waitress was staring straight down my throat.  It made me feel rather strange.  Suddenly she came up and jerked my plate off of the table and I was quite shocked.

I honestly did not think anything of it, until I went out with my date that I like very much the next night to the Real Chow Baby at the Galleria – excellent staff , my craigslist date commented on the trendiness of the staff and their attire.  He thought one waitress had a mohawk but I explained to him she had a really great perm.  She was cute, young, and free and that’s just how you should be at twenty- something not trying to glare someone down for being on a date.  The Real Chow baby was a totally different atmosphere, I know it’s more general audience oriented  but Christ even at a lounge the waitress should not be feeling and rubbing your date up unless they are looking for johns.  In any event we went to cafe Intermezzo in Dunwoody after the Real Chow Baby where I found out the date had given the waitress at Cafe Circa a 25% tip.  I think I could have swallowed twenty because I give twenty to most people even if the service is not great but twenty-five percent was a little hard to swallow, I’ve even been out with 50 and hundred dollar tippers but the waiter or waitress respected me and my date.  I was taken aback and offended that I could be treated so shabbily and my date preceded to give the woman a twenty-five percent tip. I was mad at him and this revelation made me really think that Cafe Circa does offer the services of women of questionable character, I know my date paid for a back rub and to get laid on.  Ladies if your married man tells you he’s going to Circa for business I would question if it’s monkey business compliments of the wait staff.

Finally I would like to say Cafe Intermezzo in Dunwoody was wonderful as usual.  It’s been a great date spot for years.  I have an affinity for Dunwoody, when I temped, the temp agencies in Dunwoody always made sure that I had a job and was working.  When I was in an executive training program and all of the participants had MBA’s Dunwoody still found a place for me in this program.  Dunwoody is a good place as well as my family has had other financial and banking needs that the 20 corrider could not take care of and the Galleria area  where The Real Chow Baby is located came through.  I suppose I say all of this to say that if I take the time to put an ad in craigslist.  I should take the time to suggest places to my date that exemplify the character and the values that I try to practice in real life.

The twenty corridor is not doing it for me and ladies Circa Cafe is an absolutely horrible place to take someone you like and cherish to.  I am trying to salvage even a friendship out of this craigslist person that I loved talking to but the shadow of a 25% tip when I could not get a coaster or a straw and had my plate jerked from under me is making me feel that my date just did not respect me as much as he should, he says he did not know.  We talk everyday for at least two hours but I’m still wondering about him. 🙂